Hontafbim is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, happy snail.

Hontafbim created gold eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hontafbim, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Hontafbim, it will destroy your favourite star.

Hontafbim's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Hontafbim's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hontafbim.

2. Never skip near cats.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near squirrels while wearing mauve corsets.

5. Never feed lots of turnips to ants while wearing yellow stockings.