Zenbepnur Flowlatced is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, fast duck.

Zenbepnur Flowlatced created dark energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Zenbepnur Flowlatced, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Zenbepnur Flowlatced, he will not care.

Zenbepnur Flowlatced's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Zenbepnur Flowlatced's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Zenbepnur Flowlatced.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never sing in the presence of snakes.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.