Ontsugfas is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, intelligent naga.

Ontsugfas created the planet Venus seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ontsugfas, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ontsugfas, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Ontsugfas' most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Ontsugfas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tin on your body.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always obey Ontsugfas' priests.

5. Do not covet oxen.