Bidgemleg is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, dishonest goat.

Bidgemleg created the Whirlpool Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Bidgemleg, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bidgemleg, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bidgemleg's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Bidgemleg's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Bidgemleg's priests.

2. Never mention tortoises.

3. Never wear orange coats.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Learn four new languages a year.