Laklaplibbab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish turtle.

Laklaplibbab created the universe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Laklaplibbab, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Laklaplibbab, he will not care at all.

Laklaplibbab's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Laklaplibbab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never wear corsets.

3. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.

4. Laklaplibbab loves birds, so they must be honoured.

5. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Laklaplibbab in the centre of the settlement.