Getbeghudfityarpcumratfar is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, kind manatee.

Getbeghudfityarpcumratfar created dark energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Getbeghudfityarpcumratfar, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Getbeghudfityarpcumratfar, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Getbeghudfityarpcumratfar's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Getbeghudfityarpcumratfar's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. You must love Getbeghudfityarpcumratfar.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near aardvarks while wearing purple rings.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.