Legbunkabsan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, slow clam.

Legbunkabsan created parasitic wasps two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Legbunkabsan, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Legbunkabsan, she will turn you into a mouse.

Legbunkabsan's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Legbunkabsan's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never think about quantum field theory near great tits while wearing fawn shoes and balancing seven platinum spheres on your hands.

3. Do not wear copper on your body.

4. Do not eat onions.

5. Never look in ponds.