Tipjiplab is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, loving zebra.

Tipjiplab created a photon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tipjiplab, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tipjiplab, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Tipjiplab's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Tipjiplab's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Tipjiplab.

2. Do not take Tipjiplab's name in vain.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Erect a large iron sculpture of Tipjiplab on top of all buildings.

5. Tipjiplab loves swans, so they must be honoured.