Mutstiprip is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, narcissistic crow.

Mutstiprip created the Sun seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Mutstiprip, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Mutstiprip, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Mutstiprip's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Mutstiprip's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.

2. Do not wear yellow clothing.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near sharks while wearing mauve trousers and balancing three gold spheres on your chest.

4. Never sprint in the presence of turtles.

5. Never feed grapes to eagles while wearing skirts.