Arpbenspaglap is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, unjust squirrel.

Arpbenspaglap created an electron seven million years ago.

If you believe in Arpbenspaglap, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Arpbenspaglap, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Arpbenspaglap's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Arpbenspaglap's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never wear cyan shoes.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never eat rice.