Citgofjan is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unjust bear.

Citgofjan created oxygen four years ago.

If you believe in Citgofjan, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Citgofjan, she will turn you into a frog.

Citgofjan's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Citgofjan's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always obey Citgofjan's priests.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics near ducks while wearing gray ear rings and balancing nine tin spheres on your back.

4. Citgofjan loves seals, so they must be honoured.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.