Lapgemtal is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, unthinking frog.

Lapgemtal created gold five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lapgemtal, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Lapgemtal, she will throw large rocks at you.

Lapgemtal's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Lapgemtal's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Lapgemtal in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always wear yellow.

5. Learn five new languages a year.