Cutvagnulvogtapcar is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, overgenerous unicorn.

Cutvagnulvogtapcar created the universe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cutvagnulvogtapcar, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Cutvagnulvogtapcar, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Cutvagnulvogtapcar's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Cutvagnulvogtapcar's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cutvagnulvogtapcar.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never write about moons.