Hakafvan Honfidtim Figfitfeb is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, clever dryad.

Hakafvan Honfidtim Figfitfeb created bats seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hakafvan Honfidtim Figfitfeb, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hakafvan Honfidtim Figfitfeb, it will turn you into a rat.

Hakafvan Honfidtim Figfitfeb's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Hakafvan Honfidtim Figfitfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not hurt sharks.

3. Never talk about ducks.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never eat bark.