Flyteenjap Nelgonveg is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, dishonest spider.

Flyteenjap Nelgonveg created the planet Earth two million years ago.

If you believe in Flyteenjap Nelgonveg, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Flyteenjap Nelgonveg, it will throw large rocks at you.

Flyteenjap Nelgonveg's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Flyteenjap Nelgonveg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Flyteenjap Nelgonveg loves sheep, so they must be honoured.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Always make sure there are no pigs in a room before entering it.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flyteenjap Nelgonveg.