Ragquamstig Gumwat is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, idiotic dingo.

Ragquamstig Gumwat created humankind nine million years ago.

If you believe in Ragquamstig Gumwat, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Ragquamstig Gumwat, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Ragquamstig Gumwat's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Ragquamstig Gumwat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never think about quantum gravity.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.