Arpwikveg is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, almighty shrew.

Arpwikveg created the planet Jupiter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpwikveg, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Arpwikveg, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Arpwikveg's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Arpwikveg's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt shrews.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. You must never eat aubergines.

4. Never eat apples.

5. Never play with disobedient children.