Tadzogjop is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, capable gerbil.

Tadzogjop created humanity four years ago.

If you believe in Tadzogjop, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tadzogjop, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Tadzogjop's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Tadzogjop's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five dogs approach from the north.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Always help monkeys in need.