Begtifbess is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, dishonourable yak.

Begtifbess created the Cigar Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Begtifbess, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Begtifbess, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Begtifbess' most sacred site is Evol in France.

Begtifbess' Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Begtifbess.

2. Do not take Begtifbess' name in vain.

3. Never mention otters.

4. Do not hurt frogs.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.