Gudlakhim is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, overgenerous seal.

Gudlakhim created Mount Everest three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gudlakhim, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gudlakhim, she will be very unhappy.

Gudlakhim's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Gudlakhim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about turtles.

2. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

3. Worship no other gods but Gudlakhim.

4. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.

5. Never hurt dogs.