Zognanlist is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, compassionate fish.

Zognanlist created Europe two years ago.

If you believe in Zognanlist, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zognanlist, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Zognanlist's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Zognanlist's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity near doves while wearing cyan trousers and balancing six carbon spheres on your hands.

2. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not covet oxen.