Zenpiblidfot is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, stupid ant.

Zenpiblidfot created the Cigar Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Zenpiblidfot, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zenpiblidfot, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Zenpiblidfot's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Zenpiblidfot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt dolphins.

2. Do not eat cherries.

3. Zenpiblidfot must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never talk about optics near badgers while wearing brown scarves and balancing three lead spheres on your arms.

5. Run away from gray frogs, for they are unholy.