Bemzogbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, wise hedgehog.

Bemzogbonk created light three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemzogbonk, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bemzogbonk, he will turn you into a puffin.

Bemzogbonk's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Bemzogbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

2. Never think ill of sick horses.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bemzogbonk.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always pray immersed in water.