Staffotten is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, flying owl.

Staffotten created the Large Magellanic Cloud three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Staffotten, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Staffotten, it will turn you into a duck.

Staffotten's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Staffotten's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Run away if eight mice approach from the south.

3. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

4. Always help tortoises in need.

5. Never wear shorts.