Nangepdab Motparknar Buntitbut is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, all-knowing walrus.

Nangepdab Motparknar Buntitbut created matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nangepdab Motparknar Buntitbut, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nangepdab Motparknar Buntitbut, it will laugh at you.

Nangepdab Motparknar Buntitbut's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Nangepdab Motparknar Buntitbut's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Never talk about moths.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.