Xuckgettiklid is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, passionate penguin.

Xuckgettiklid created viruses eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xuckgettiklid, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Xuckgettiklid, he will destroy your home solar system.

Xuckgettiklid's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Xuckgettiklid's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never feed grapes to otters while wearing tights.

3. Never run near turtles.

4. Run away if eight dogs approach from the south.

5. Do not cook food in pots.