Himappnurlyatt is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, dishonourable rat.

Himappnurlyatt created vertebrates nine million years ago.

If you believe in Himappnurlyatt, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Himappnurlyatt, he will remove you from existence.

Himappnurlyatt's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Himappnurlyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about eukaryotes.

2. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Himappnurlyatt in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never eat parsnips.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.