Venstigfar is a god.
She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, slow
badger.
Venstigfar created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Venstigfar, she will look after you all your life.
If you do not believe in
Venstigfar, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.
Venstigfar's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.
Venstigfar's Holy Commandments1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.
2. Do not chop down trees.
3. Never talk about spacetime.
4. Always stare at clouds.
5. Do not kill bats.