Venstigfar is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, slow badger.

Venstigfar created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Venstigfar, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Venstigfar, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Venstigfar's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Venstigfar's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never talk about spacetime.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not kill bats.