Gan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, dishonourable shark.

Gan created a bottom quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gan, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gan, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Gan's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Gan's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of bananas to rats while wearing magenta skirts.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

4. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Gan in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not wear tin on your body.