Larphogcib is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, two-faced octopus.

Larphogcib created the Small Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larphogcib, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Larphogcib, she will remove you from existence.

Larphogcib's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Larphogcib's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near ducks while wearing white scarves and balancing seven silver spheres on your chest.

2. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.

3. Never eat wheat.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.