Rakflowfed is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, slow lizard.

Rakflowfed created time and space eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rakflowfed, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Rakflowfed, he will turn you into a dog.

Rakflowfed's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Rakflowfed's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near aardvarks while wearing turquoise kilts and balancing four zinc spheres on your legs.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never feed grapes to dolphins while wearing indigo rings.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never think about asteroids.