Nigarndoss is a god.

He takes the form of a small, omnipotent lobster.

Nigarndoss created everything that exists seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nigarndoss, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nigarndoss, he will not invite you to parties.

Nigarndoss' most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Nigarndoss' Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never sing in the presence of hamsters.

3. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. You must never eat peas.