Hanquatsitlargbesswadlitgut is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, wise zebra.

Hanquatsitlargbesswadlitgut created tapeworms seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hanquatsitlargbesswadlitgut, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hanquatsitlargbesswadlitgut, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Hanquatsitlargbesswadlitgut's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Hanquatsitlargbesswadlitgut's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. You must never eat lemons.

4. Never wear red coats.

5. Retreat if five whales approach from the south.