Zagwannutt is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, passionate yak.

Zagwannutt created the planet Earth six billion years ago.

If you believe in Zagwannutt, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Zagwannutt, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Zagwannutt's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Zagwannutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Never talk about squirrels.

5. Do not take Zagwannutt's name in vain.