Fenfudcub is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, bad-tempered narwhal.

Fenfudcub created the universe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fenfudcub, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fenfudcub, it will turn you into a worm.

Fenfudcub's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Fenfudcub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never think ill of sick sheep.

3. Never write about archaea.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.