Batbellcan is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, able faun.

Batbellcan created the solar system nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Batbellcan, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Batbellcan, she will turn you into a mole.

Batbellcan's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Batbellcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Never feed lots of carrots to geese while wearing magenta jumpers.

4. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.