Godwiklarn is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, humorless gorilla.

Godwiklarn created Mount Everest five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Godwiklarn, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Godwiklarn, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Godwiklarn's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Godwiklarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Hide from gray squirrels for they are unholy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Erect a large copper sculpture of Godwiklarn on top of all buildings.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near whales while wearing indigo hats and balancing eight platinum spheres on your hands.