Flablidjapgab is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, humane pig.

Flablidjapgab created an electron eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flablidjapgab, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Flablidjapgab, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Flablidjapgab's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Flablidjapgab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Respect your elders.