Tarpflysit is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, dishonourable beaver.

Tarpflysit created humankind six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpflysit, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tarpflysit, she will laugh at you.

Tarpflysit's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Tarpflysit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear lead on your body.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tarpflysit.

5. Fast once a month.