Fatcetcam is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, selfish mole.

Fatcetcam created the Sombrero Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatcetcam, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fatcetcam, he will turn you into a tree.

Fatcetcam's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Fatcetcam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter near mice while wearing violet ear rings.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never mention badgers.