Gudbafyim is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, caring yak.

Gudbafyim created matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gudbafyim, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gudbafyim, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Gudbafyim's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Gudbafyim's Holy Commandments

1. Always help mites.

2. Hide if nine tortoises approach from the south.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never talk about dark matter near great tits while wearing violet dresses and balancing six copper spheres on your feet.