Fenzigxucfarmob is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, selfish chinchilla.

Fenzigxucfarmob created viruses nine million years ago.

If you believe in Fenzigxucfarmob, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fenzigxucfarmob, he will turn you into a hamster.

Fenzigxucfarmob's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Fenzigxucfarmob's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from purple voles, for they are unholy.

2. Never hurt foxes.

3. Do not kill manatees.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.