Farpibhan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unsympathetic raven.

Farpibhan created humanity two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Farpibhan, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Farpibhan, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Farpibhan's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Farpibhan's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never bounce near sharks.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Worship no other gods but Farpibhan.