Lanlatjad is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, caring crane.

Lanlatjad created the Milkyway nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanlatjad, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lanlatjad, he will throw large rocks at you.

Lanlatjad's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Lanlatjad's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never think about dwarf planets.