Tanhotfatcan is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, tiresome zebra.

Tanhotfatcan created the Whirlpool Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tanhotfatcan, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tanhotfatcan, she will curse you with boils.

Tanhotfatcan's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Tanhotfatcan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick frogs.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not dye your hair red.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always treat dogs with great respect.