Bonkminveen is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, effective goose.

Bonkminveen created everything that exists four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkminveen, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bonkminveen, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Bonkminveen's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Bonkminveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat cucumbers.

2. You must love Bonkminveen.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never write about photosynthesis.