Wodfoncet is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, irritating human.

Wodfoncet created dark matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wodfoncet, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Wodfoncet, she will curse you with boils.

Wodfoncet's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Wodfoncet's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near tapirs.

2. Feed all hungry squirrels.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never feed aubergines to birds while wearing kilts.

5. Never hurt otters.