Bigwap is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, annoying scorpion.

Bigwap created tapeworms two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bigwap, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bigwap, she will turn you into a frog.

Bigwap's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Bigwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.