Metcepflap is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, tiresome porpoise.

Metcepflap created the Andromeda Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Metcepflap, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Metcepflap, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Metcepflap's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Metcepflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

2. Never feed lots of bread to eagles while wearing mauve coats.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near sheep while wearing magenta corsets and balancing four aluminium spheres on your back.

4. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

5. You must pray to Metcepflap five times a day.