Kadsatgovciptargdit is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, dishonourable crow.

Kadsatgovciptargdit created everything that exists seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kadsatgovciptargdit, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kadsatgovciptargdit, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Kadsatgovciptargdit's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Kadsatgovciptargdit's Holy Commandments

1. Kadsatgovciptargdit loves goats, so they must be honoured.

2. Never jump near whales.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never think about quantum field theory near geese while wearing purple tights and balancing five platinum spheres on your arms.

5. Never feed figs to eagles while wearing hats.